Patriarchal society

Dear Daughter told us over dinner, "The daddys make the rules and the mommys follow them."
I asked her where she learned that. "At church."
Dear wife and I look at each other with the same look parents give each other when they realize their children are learning things they need not subscribe to.
I let her go first.
"Well, honey, that depends on the family. In some familys that is the way it works. In our family however daddy and I both make decisions together because we are equal partners. We think that it is a better way for families to operate."
I couldn't have said it better myself. She summed up my feelings exactly.

My oldest sister just reminded me that I carry the heavy mantle of "Patriarch" of my tribe, my family. It made me feel like the father of the Heroine in the movie Whale Rider who refused to accept that heavy mantle. According to my eldest sister, I'm the last tenuous link to that part of our tribe who maintained the traditions of their fathers. Now I realize that I am not the patriarch. My father is the patriarch and he rejected those traditions in favor of reason and love of nature. I choose that tradition. I choose to nurture that legacy, that inheiritance. Just as importantly, our mother is the Matriarch and they established a legacy of equal partnership in a marriage. They were the first ones in our family to reject the patriarchal order of the past. They were the first ones to say this is not right. Men and women are equal. They were the first in our family to carry equal responsibility for raising the family. They did a fine job of raising us to have good morals, virtue and the capability to think independently, without religion, and in part despite religion.
I choose to honor that tradition. I choose to follow in their progressive footsteps. I choose humanism over dogmatism. I choose reason over superstition. I choose the natural record over the written record. I choose mental emancipation over slavish obedience. I choose the sublime and transcendant aspects of humanity that unite us all below and above the surface over rather than the mean superficial aspects of humanity which separate us.
I am not Mormon or christian or atheist or agnostic or democrat or republican. I am independent. I am human. I seek after the same things my ancestors sought after, mainly a better life for me and my family and ultimately my tribe and mankind.
I told my twin sister Merry that I needed to explain to my oldest sister the current state of my disbelief.
She just laughed and asked when I wanted to go for a run in the sun.
She's a rare individual.
One of the few people in my life who always has a kind word and makes you feel good to be alive and keeps me motivated to run and climb and experience the great outdoors. And to create.
She's the wind beneath my wings, my soul sister, my team mate.
Whenever we run together we we are "Team Gemini" our motto is "Endure to the End."
We have it written on our backs so that we can inspire the one pulling up the rear.
When we run up stairs we sing the theme from Rockey.
It's just her and me and as long as we are together it doesn't matter where we finish in the mass of humanity. We know we will never finish first and we will never finish last. But as long as we finish together nothing else really matters. At least we are participating and doing something positive that we can always share and feel good about. If it is a short race I have to slow down to let her catch up. If it's a Marathon its all I can do to keep up, but somehow we always finish everything we start. If it wasn't for her I would have never run a marathon. Without me she might never have had the courage to travel the world.

I don't claim to be the world's expert on happiness, but I know that I'm much happier now that I am honest with myself and those around me. There is much more satisfaction for me at least in looking in the mirror and knowing that I am doing what's right for me and my family, despite what anyone else thinks, (besides my wife). I cannot live my life to please those who would exert their control over me. I'd rather spend my free time doing work for Habitat for Humanity or creating something beautiful.

I stopped writing my "personal history" three years ago, coincidentally when I hit 40, and started to take seriously what legacy I was creating. I was at a loss as to what to write that would benefit our posterity. I just last week picked up where I left off 3 years ago. It was the first time since my faith came crashing down 3 years ago like a house of cards, that I felt like I could articulate my position in positive terms. That is a major milestone for me.
It was the first time since then that I felt like I'd gained my existential footing. I've allowed my natural humanist inclinations a place to gain purchase, to take hold and gain root. I've weeded out those mean aspects of the patriarchal and racist traditions of my forefathers.
Now I have positive answers to people's questions.
The best part about it is that I have my wife and children who believe in me and are united with me. For the first time I feel like I am leading my family in a positive direction, that I can articulate, justify and defend in positive terms. I've found an alternative system of beliefs and values and a model for parenting that I can defend and that is supported by the model set by my parents.
We've reached a truce with those who would interfere with the way we parent our children and we've made it clear to them that we will raise our children how we, as their parents, see fit and will not stand for the undermining of the values we instill in them.
It's a good development and a happy lifestyle.
It feels natural and we are content with our place in the universe for the first time in a very long time.
And it feels soooo good.